My name is Cricket and I was born to teach. Sometimes I wish I was born to do something
else—like be a stay-at-home mom, a member of the Rockettes, or even a greeting
card author. I know that being a
stay-at-home mom is a very demanding job, but my summer months off are proof
that I would not do well being at home day after day after day. I dread the monotonous dog days of summer that
I always seem to find myself in, even when I meticulously plan outings for me
and my daughter.
And then there are the demands of being a Rockette or a
greeting card author—I mean at my age I just can’t get those kicks to the same
height as I used to and I am most certain my greeting card messages would begin
to mimic one another as I fall into the inevitable writer’s block.
No, teaching is what I was born to do and a calling that I
almost walked away from last October. It
was in my depth of teacher depression that I felt betrayed by my one true
calling—the classroom. How could the
place that I once felt so connected to feel so far away? Nine years of pouring my heart and soul into
my profession and in one quick moment every ounce of happiness I once felt toward
my calling slipped away. Nine years I
invested all of my blood, sweat, and tears into my classroom and I found myself
lost and disconnected. I was prepared to
walk away and I began to seriously grieve my calling.
I frantically considered all of my options. I mean, I can’t just quit; financially that
was not possible-- and I’ve already mentioned that I am not the stay-at-home type. Maybe I could teach online? No, I would still be too cooped up at
home. Maybe I could teach part-time
online and do something on the side; like an antique booth? That would be fun! I could fulfill my calling and do something
creative. But after a three month run of
the antique booth, I found my garage full of junk, my wallet empty from buying
all of the junk, and my husband unhappy that I was not making a profit. In fact, after doing all the math I realized
that I was paying rent to the shop and paying other people to take my “vintiques”
home. Not exactly what I envisioned.
By February I found myself deeper in my teacher depression
and then it happened; an opening at the
small private school that my daughter attends preschool. I interviewed for the position the day after
I sent in my resume and it was the change of scenery that I was searching for. I found a bounce in my step again as I began
dreaming of a teaching life on the “other side” of the public-private
divide. I took the position to teach
High School Social Studies and began to pull myself out of the despair that had
become of my calling.
It’s been over a year since I almost walked away from the
teaching profession, about 12 months since I decided to leave public schools,
and only 6 months into the world of private education. But I am excited about teaching again and am
even more excited to begin this journey of reflection and of sharing my classroom
with you. I am not excited about the
vulnerability I feel at this moment, in fact I’d probably feel less vulnerable
auditioning for the Rockettes. But, I have a peculiar feeling that the risk of
putting myself and my ideas out there for all will reap much reward, personally
and professionally.
So here I find myself, on a Sunday afternoon, in between
loads of laundry and fine tuning lesson plans.
Here I find myself embarking on a new horizon of my calling—and I couldn’t
be more thrilled. My name is Cricket and
I was born to teach.
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